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Note from the Artist:
This collection chronicles my growth from fun loving baby poet to professional rap artist. These recordings highlight the experiences which I used to turn my passion into my responsibility. From rapping for fun to rapping to confront painful emotions instead of going crazy, from cyphers wit' my peers to mockery of my critics, freestyling to writing songs, from mixtapes to CDs to radio, from being without a father figure to becoming my own role model; this album represents my appreciation for the diversity of hiphop music, and the way I discovered my own special role in creating this culture.
01. 1983 baby rap
featuring what may be the oldest SelFSuffice rhyme ever recorded, this track lets you know that the Rapoet has been passionate about rapping and freestyling since the moment he learned how to talk.
02. babies freestyle
featuring Waahid, Czar Scar, SelFSuffice, and Karmz, backed up by Quinn Raymond and Eric. after performing at a book release party for Eric Drooker , a young SelFSuffice got the idea that he could put on a show of his own. he made an agreement with the caretakers of ABC No Rio that they would get one third of any profits generated at the show. the showcase featured the East River Connection, which was a combination of young rappers from various parts of New York, including Harlem, the Lower East Side, Brooklyn, and Staten Island, who were members of smaller groups like Underated, Startin' 5, BLESU, Dynasty Lexion, and Tap Water.
SelFSuffice drew a characature of himself, put the details of the event on it, and went around the village with a friend, handing these "flyers" out to attractive older women, who had no reason whatsoever to be going to a rap show featuring some random young boys! however this was an imortant milestone, and an amazing proof of SelFSuffice's drive to emcee live shows at an early age.
the show generated a total of about 20 dollars, 7 of which went to the venue, and was attended by a talented punk drummer named Eric, as well as a gifted guitarist by the name of Quinn Raymond . this particular freestyle is significant, because earlier that day was one of the few times in his life that SelFSuffice's father came to see him, dropped off a Philly cheesesteak, and disappeared again. later, at the show, the stress from not having his father be around came out in this freestyle off the dome.
03. the bridge
taken from the Duralon album, "Dirty and Strange", this track was a collaboration between SelFSuffice, Waahid, Czar Scar, Quinn Raymond , and the members of Duralon. in other words, it was a collaboration of a hiphop group with a rock group (long before Korn or Limp Biscuit, but not before Run DMC and Aerosmith) the chorus went, "ERC is the bridge between hiphop 'n rock, Dulalon is the bridge between rock 'n hiphop!"
04. gimme a kiss
this verse was originally followed by a verse from one of SelFSuffice's peoples, the economically empowering emcee Raw Skil. SelFSuffice always had a rhyme for that special soul sister out there, even before he met her! what's most significant about this track is that it shows a period of time where he had gotten tired of always looking for producers to do beats for him, so he got some software and started finding and looping samples. this track represents SelFSuffice's new found understanding of how to sample, loop, and record rhymes over a piece of music (all in his own home), thereby becoming more self sufficient as a hiphop artist.
05. sweet and sour plus a freestyle
before he ever appeared on public radio or college radio, SelFSuffice debuted his radio readiness on pirate radio. at 88.7 FM Steal This Radio in the Lower East Side, SelFSuffice got his start on radio shows like that of DJESE, who is now running the embedded music label. during this appearance, SelFSuffice did a metaphor comparing a good relationship to healthy food, as opposed to an unhealthy but temting dinner. then he started freestyling. soon after this appearance, SelFSuffice was asked to program his own show for the station, which he proudly did until he was old enough to go to college.
06. radiatin'
as a freshman in college, SelFSuffice was appointed as the Music Director of the local radio station. just as he did with pirate radio, he became known for judging artists not by their popularity, hype, or payola, but on the grounds of proven talent and feedback from real listeners. this recording is a verse he spit in a live cypher with the Run Away Slave, who is now making moves with Jump Off Entertainment artists, such as Kamikaze Grey and Game. SelFSuffice's verse is a metaphor comparing his path to that of a shining sun.
07. choose to build
this is an extra fresh track, featuring SelFSuffice with Rise and Shine and B'na El (Godschilde) at Heaven's Nursery. the track was roduced by Godschilde and arranged live while the emcees recorded their verses. "let's build y'all!"
08 strange thoughts freestyle
another instant classic track, and also extremely controversial. the controversy behind the track started when parts of the track were featured on the Johny 23 Records debut underground smash, "Old Trolls, New Bridge". since this track was the last added to the record, there wasn't enough room. as a result, parts of it had to be cut out. but not only was it shortened, but Rise and Shine's parts were cut out completely. ace lover and Selfsuffice's parts were used separately as interludes and called "spontaneous thoughts", instead of strange thoughts. Selfsuffice was known mostly as ka-lel back then, but the credits mispelled the name. although godschilde arranged the track, it was produced by Hashim of Rise and Shine, yet the credit for production was given to Goldynchild. so Godschilde didn't get credit, Selfsuffice got mispelled credit, and Rise and Shine who had done the production, as well as contributed verses got No credit at all!
the corrected credits are that, Ace Lover, SelFSuffice, and Rise and Shine all freestyled off the dome, while Godschilde rearranged the beat live, after loading the original arrangement and samples off of discs provided by Hashim, who actually produced the track. as they say at the end of the track, "nothin written, nothin written". the point is that these super emcees got together and made a dope track spontaneously, without the need of a pen or pad - even the beat was arranged on the spot by Godschilde, because Hashim couldn't be on the mic and the pads at the same time!
this is the test that all true emcees know they must face, being able to flow off the top - not just spit a written rhyme to a new beat, but really feel the beat, get your thoughts together, get your point across, and make it rhyme, on the spot without cue cards. this is truly the most free form of expression, that no A&R or politician can control, because if it's on the emcees mind, it's going to come out - no rehearsing - no editing - straight off the dome speaking whatever's on the emcee's mind. "Y'ALL CAN'T DO THAT!"
09. rain is
this track features the UVs, Substantial and SelFSuffice. hiphop consists of many elements that have yet to be fully appreciated by the masses and pop culture mass marketing. besides off the dome freestyling, one of these elements is beatboxing. another element is bringing together different genders, races, classes, genres, and instruments in a cohesive way, to make something refreshing and creative. the name "rain is" comes from Substantial's line, "rain is to rainbows, as fallen tears are to smiles", where he raps about overcoming the hardships that challenge even the best of relationships.
at the invitation of the UVs, SelFSuffice hopped on the subway and went to the studio with some of his own beats. he had one arrangement for this beat, but didn't bring the individual parts, so they just looped that arrangement, then beatboxed at the end. while the UVs recorded their parts, SelFSuffice wrote a crazy nice verse on the spot full of insight, emotion, and extended metaphor, and finished it just in time to record and include it on the recording. this joint is packed with poetry, singing, rapping, metaphors, beatboxing, and a sence of diversity brought together through the artform.
10. SO CLOSE
another instant classic, this is the first autobiographical type track that Selfsuffice ever recorded. he hasn't performed it much publicly, although he did perform it for Kweli after being invited to rock the mic at the Nkiru Center for Education and Culture. this is a powerful track and has evoked tears from both men and women who could identify with losing a father at a young age, and the difficult feelings that come with that loss. this song was a way for Khaiim to express and confront his thoughts on losing a father who seemed to have left before his time, but after friends heard it, they encouraged him to share it with others who were dealing with loss. one friend even joked sadly that this track makes you want to be the best parent possible, because one day your kid might write a song about you!
originally, Selfsuffice had gone to the store to buy a copy of Astrud Gilberto's classic, "The Girl From Ipanema". to his surprise, when he got home and played the album, the classic Bossa Nova song had been remixed with a disco flavor, that did not seem to do it justice. still he looked through the record and found one track that inspired him to test out his new ability to loop beats. he brought it to his peoples, but it seemed to smooth to do anything with at the time. while listening to the track alone, he just started flowing about his relationship to his dad, wrote down the rhymes, and soon after recorded the track.
his dad's voice is taken from a tape that was exchanged between SelFSuffice and his dad, while he was away at school, and his dad was locked up in the slammer. instead of writing to eachother, they recorded messages. ironically, it was his dad's turn to send a message last, and the tape was discovered after he passed away. he says, "Don't take as long to get one back to me...I keep thinking of more things I want to say, but I'll save it for next time." this track was Selfsuffice's way of sending a recorded message back to his father.
this is the title track of SelFSuffice's first solo collection, not because it is his favorite, but because it is so moving. the more he recited and listened to his own words on this track, the more he came to gribs with the reality, and understood the importance of his music, as well as his voice in representing for the lives of countless misunderstood people. when his mother told him about a book store that one of his father's friends had founded, he was anxious to visit. when she told him their was a young brother working at the store who also rapped and was intelligent, he was interested in meeting with the brother, but wondered if he'd be a pretensious nerd, as many "intelligent" emcees seemed to be. the store turned out to be Leothy Miller's Nkiru Books, and the brother who worked there turned out to be Kweli , who had not yet released his first Rawkus classic "2000 Seasons". kweli was surprisingly down to earth and cool, and of course is now one of the most popular (and skilled) emcees in the world.
even back then, SelFSuffice was honored to perform for Kweli at Nkiru Books, were he felt a connection to his deceased father. as the Rapoet learned about some of his dad's struggles, of the fact that both his mother and father had been respected and published poets, and that his father had been friends with and published poetry with Mumia Abu Jamal, he realized more and more why he had to perform this song publicly, and continue to think, write, and recite. it was fitting that the first place he performed this song, then, was at Nkiru Books, which has since been purchased by Kweli and Mos Def. "As Long As I'm Alive, My Forefahers' Souls is Livin' Through Me!"
11. lifeline freestyle
if you were on the new york city underground scene in 1999, you probably knew or heard of Ka-lel, or SelFSuffice. he was at every battle and open mic he could get to, not looking for a deal, not selling records (although sometimes hustiling home made instrumental tapes with Ace Lover!), but just because he had an overblown passion for rappin'. one of his favorite spots was the Amphibians Lifeline Open Mic, which was then being held at the Binny Cafe in Manhattan. there would be live instrumetns as well as drum machines, so that the music was freestyled as well as a large amount of the rhymes. most of the dopest emcees around on the underground at that time, came through at one point or another.
SelFSuffice's favorite emcee to hear and rhyme with at the Lifeline was, by far, Filli. not only would Filli be down to freestyle off the dome, off the clock until everyone else had to go to work the next day, but he had a genuinely cheerful spirit. he was always realistic about the problems of society, and yet he always let his artistry shine through. his thoughts were insightful, his flows were ill (off the dome too), and he had a laugh reminiscent of a character from the Muppets or Sesame Street.
this recording is taken from a night where SelFSuffice and Filli were freestyling off the dome together as they often did. although Filli has passed on way before any of could have expected, he will never be forgotten. his brother Joe maintains an orgainization called the Filli Foundation which carries on his legacy with creative, educational, and philanthropic acts of hiphop love. one of Filli's favorite lines was "escape this matrix". SelFSuffice often felt like they escaped "the matrix" when they rhymed, stepping in to a dimension of creativity and freedom from the day to day struggle. this track is a testament to Filli's escape from the matrix and his inspiration to SelFSuffice.
12. radiohiphop
when SelFSuffice went back to college, he was able to stay in touch with hiphop by listening to Bobbito's show through the internet, as well as Jay Smooth's Underground Railroad, and DJ Avid and Born Talent on Radiohiphop.com. while on the air with Icon the Mic King as guests, on the 54 side show one night, he took the opportunity to test out a new written verse, although he usually freestyled. although this verse is extremely bangin', it was never used for anything until this current release!
13. easy gangsta (same ish)
ha ha this track has to be the funniest out of this collection! SelFSuffice is chillin' at Heaven's Nursery one night with Black Rick, Many Styles, Many Styles, Logic and Reason. they all freestyled and spit verses for hours over Godschilde's beats at one point, Godschilde put on a track that just sounded like the average wannabe gangsta would spit on. so SelFSuffice out of the blue spits this crazy "thugged out gangsta" verse that he had recently written, but wasn't planning to use. he wrote it as a joke, because at that time hiphop was breaking in to all these separate clicks where you could only be a one-dimensional label, like you had to be a "thug", or a "player", or "conscious", or a "baller", or a "battle rapper". due to this division, many people were starting to impy that if you dropped knowledge, or freestyled, you "couldn't" spt a gangster thug verse.
so the point of this verse is that just because someone doesn't rap a certain way, that doesn't mean they CAN'T. sometimes the artist just DOESN'T WANT TO use that style or content, and if you test them you might get made fun of! this track is basically all censored because it was almost completely curses. most listeners know that SelFSuffice doesn't record curses in his songs, because he doesn't want the DJs to have any problem playing them. plus he is intelligent enough to find ways to express his emotions without cursing - most of the time!
14. Bobbito's CMFam freestyle
this is an excerpt from SelFSuffice's appearance on the world famous CMFam show run for many years byBobbito, the Cucumber Slice. one of the only places that seemed unaffected by the trends, press, and pop star confusions which have challenged hiphop over the years was Bobbito's weekly early morning show. the CMFam show on WKCR and the Underground Railroad on WBAI (which both eventually became available on the internet in addition to the radio dial) are credited by SelFSuffice as being part of the reason why he never became disillusioned by hiphop, and why he always knew a big difference between hiphop, and pop hiphop.
needless to say, SelFSuffice was honored to be a guest on Bobbito's show, and not only have his track "Chapter One" played, but also freestyle live, and join the ranks of so many avant garde emcees who had done the same. unfortunately, Bobbito recently resigned from the show, but a young brother named Tim C and his peoples are continuing the legacy, under the name "Squeeze Radio" (squeeze was a popular phrase of Bobbito the Barber and Stretch Armstrong), Friday mornings from 1 to 5 am on WKCR.org. Ironically, the Rapoet now does an early morning hiphop show as well, Monday mornings from 2 to 6 on WRTCFM.com
15. Chapter One
before J. K. Rowling and "Harry Potter", there was SelFSuffice and "Chapter One". what can be said of this underground classic? it's an unforgettable track. the first chapter (with a foreward introduction by Godschilde) of an ambitious project - a hiphop book. like most of SelFSuffice's work, it was written on the spot capturing whatever thoughts worked for him at that moment. not only is it an intrigueing story, but it captures the confusion and frustration of that year, 1999, the police brutality, Mayor Guliani's notorious fascism, the increasing portrayal and acceptance of hiphop as a mysogynistic, violent genre, and the eternal conflict of accepting the easy way out to get rich or comfortable, when times are hard.
the story is that before Godschilde knew SelFSuffice, he made a cassette (home made CDs were just becoming popular, almost noone had a burner) and gave it to a select handful of his favorite underground emcees, including SelFSuffice, C Rayz Walz, Many Stylez, Blowout, and Life Long. when SelFSuffice heard the cassette, there were 2 tracks that seemed to call out to him. he immediately scribbled down Chapter One on the spot, rewinding the cassette and writing to the beat until he was finished. he spt the verse for Godschilde and it was approved. Godschilde is a known book lover. while SelFSuffice was at Heaven's Nursery to record the track, he picked up a book, saw the introduction, and got the idea that since this was the first chapter, the intro should be like a book forward. He wrote it to allude to the type of forward that would precede a work of critically acclaimed literature, but with a fresh hiphop sense to it.
this was the track that started SelFSuffice's habit of freestyling at the end of tracks, an expression of his connection to the roots of hiphop culture. many people have heard it, identified with it, and stamped it an instant classic. although SelFSuffice never pushed or promoted his own products before this year, it has received airplay and been featured on one or two compilations. rumour has it that he is keeping a Chapter Two saved for later!
16. a long rhyme coming freestyle
similar to Jay Smoothe and Bobbito, Eddie Ill & D. L. were and are still known for finding and showcasing the dopest unsigned talents. but for the most part, they don't do it on the radio, they do it on the mixtape circuit. they were the first to showcase Eminem, Wordsworth, and many other super emcees, before the masses had a clue. their most recent cassette is entitled "A Long Rhyme Coming" and this track is on it. the track features Ken Boogaloo, Sub-Conscious, SelFSuffice, Yeshua da poed, Life Long, and Many Styles.
as you probably know, when SelFSuffice freestyles, it's straight off the dome, and he rarely even uses a prethought line. that's part of why his freestyle ability is so dope and awe inspiring. apparently, at this session one of the artists after him kept messing up one of their lines, so everyone before that artist had to keep repeating their verse. as a result, SelFSuffice recorded about 5 or 6 very different freestyled verses, and he says this one isn't even his favorite! however, it is still dope as usual. Eddi Ill & D. L. products are usually available at sandbox automatic.
17. verse the beat
Similar to Eddie Ill & DL, DJ Blowout released a mixtape featuring some of the most explosive unsigned talent in New York. the revolutionary aspect was that he did ALL THE PRODUCTION himself, then he chose a dverse array of his own beats and arranged them to provide a cohesive, yet multifaceted sonic landscape. after getting verses from all the emcees recorded over his prearranged, seemless musical collage, he mixed it, mastered it, and released it independently. this CD, "Verses Vs. Beats", is a certified hiphop classic, and SelFSuffice was priveleged to open it up and set the standard with the first guest artist spot on the record.
18. Rap for Lise Waxer
SelFSuffice admits that he did not feel wanted or accepted throughout his time in an elite New England college. yet there were a few teachers that really loved what they were doing and were a pleasure to learn from. a stellar example was author and college Professor Lise Waxer, an ethnomusicology professor who recently passed away. one of the courses which Khaiim took with Lise Waxer was "Human Rights, Globalization, and Pop Culture", an awesome and revealing course, which covered Naomi Klein's "No Logo", featured footage, visiing guests who were researching outside of the country, and many other resources.
the course was not so much about the business of selling music, as it was about the shortcomings of commodofying culture and the uses of music for resistance and authentic expression. as part of the final project, Professor Waxer accepted a proposal from Khaiim to submit a hiphop collaboration with other students, showcasing in music, lyrics, style, and content, the complex interchange of human rights, globalization, and pop culture. this track features Jessica, Ceschi, Lygea, Khaiim, and Allison. both Jessica and Allison are now continuing to educate others, as members of the Acorn activist organization. SelFSuffice has recently recorded material for Ceschi's upcoming solo project on Red Baloon 444 Records. This track is dedicated to the memory of Lise Waxer, all those who strive to teach what they truly know, and all those whose value their culture, even while it is being taken for granted by politicians and global markets.
19. SO FAR
this is a remix to the title track, "SO CLOSE", appropriately entitled, "SO FAR". it is produced by Zakuan and features SelFSuffice's soulmate, Isis Rose. the bittersweetness of this track, as well as the original, is that SelFSuffice became closer with his dad after he passed in many ways, because his father had left him only a few years after he was born. it was after his father's passing that he learned about his artistry, activism, intelligence, and struggles, and came to understood the sacrifices which this strong Black male figure had made for Khaiim to have a better chance. peace to all those who appreciate the sacrifices made by their ancestors, and carry on in their memory. "We All the Next Generation Carryin' On Tradition!"
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